Friday, September 7, 2012

in the midst of contentment



SEPTEMBER 6, 2012
Yesterday afternoon, I received a mail on my outlook from my supervisor, titled: OT IS A MUST, but it was an empty mail. Why mailed it when we knew what to do then? After a couple of hours, she mailed back in the same thread, “LET ME KNOW ONCE YOU’RE DONE, yada yada yada.”

I was planning to sleep early tonight but it turned out the other way around, my phone says it’s now 10:02pm. I can’t sleep yet, though I already accepted that I lost my job yesterday. I should’ve seen it coming as early as it should be though earlier that morning I knew what would happen later (I was warned you know).

Nevertheless, I decided to laugh many times during the day just to cover up the resentment, and so I laughed, faking that I was all feeling good when I wasn't. I wanted to hear from them the words I dreaded to hear, that they want me out. I was very aware of what the mail was meant, “why prolonging the agony?” I whispered when I wanted to scream it.

So we’re summoned (my colleague and I) at the HRD, we’re accompanied by our sup. We waited like 5 minutes or more in a small room where we had our technical exam and our final interview before we were hired seven months ago.

I was freezing during the exam, I remember. Perhaps, they set the AC to 15 degrees, I was taking the exam with four people and they are all boys. It took me three hours to finish it (though not a very long one but I consumed more time reviewing it), I was drained then and so hungry like a fox in a cold winter, hmmm, I wish I perfected it. The final interview was almost intimidating because I was squeezed, I had my answers well said, perhaps, because I was hired then. 

Sweet, it feels like they've all happened like a week ago and they’re dumping us now, ouch!!!

I was starving, the HR staff hasn’t arrived yet, I want to go now. My colleague and my sup were talking, I didn’t want to listen, I didn’t want to talk, but I forced myself to talk when the situation asked me to. The HR guy arrived, his eyes are like of those Chinese people, he's not tall for a guy, he speaks English, not once he used a vernacular, talks fast and so I never got all of what he said. He then gave us 2 papers each right away and each 2 were attached – it was our evaluation. He gave us time to read it. Obviously, I didn’t pass. I skimmed reading it, I was in a hurry, “this place is very narrow”, I thought. He asked if we wanted to see the data on how they came up on that. We shook our heads right before he finished asking. Jeez, ‘can we make this fast, I want to leave, I wish you knew!’ this is not easy like what happened to my other colleagues yet in the end you can’t decline from their choice. Just surrender your company ID, put your signature over your printed name, put the date on it, and get lost! Weeeeeeeee…

Did I just sound bitter? I apologize if I did. I’ll be good in this paragraph, I promise, because behind those words above are the friends I’ve collected while I was there. My camaraderie was never wasted. I only had a small amount of time working there yet I’ve captured some hearts and made a few friends. I enjoyed their company like they enjoyed mine but it was interrupted by a luck of a business nature or I don't know what to call that. I wish I’ve stayed longer with them. I’m delighted that in a few moments of their lives, I was there and have me as a friend, and when I say friend, I really mean friend. I don’t want to name names, you guys knew who you are.

To my colleagues who have been kicked too, it’s okay to be sad for just a minute, don’t take it too long to mourn for that loss. If you think it is like what I thought it was, and it might sound that we lose, I tell you that it's not really our loss anyway. They are actually moving us to grow, as their theme says . Let’s just be grateful instead, for there are greater opportunities await in the corners, isn’t it wonderful? I knew there are hard feelings on the air but time is so fast and it might leave us if we are to dwell on that though I knew it's obnoxious but I knew we can keep these all rocking.


Tuesday, August 21, 2012

What's Good in the Morning?


This was asked by one of our supervisors when I wished her good morning early on Monday when she came into the office. I was talking to a colleague and unaware when she came in. The colleague I was talking to motioned to me that she just arrived. "Good Morning, Miss", I smiled as I greeted her, she smiled back to me, didn't bother to reciprocate my greeting and asked, "What's good in the morning?" I paused, composed myself and smiled and I answered, "the good in the morning is that you're still alive, have the the chance to smile like you have now." She never answered back and I went back to my station and I suppose to work but I was tempted to write this (sorry Miss, I'm using this time for my passion when I should be working, I can't help it, my fingers are so eager and the words are gushing, I can't stop it.)

I only gave her brief answer to her question yet actually there are many things that are good in the morning. Every morning you wake up is a gift, for the Lord gives us the chance to have another day. No matter how bad it was yesterday, God gives us always the chance to make another day beautiful and prolific. Some people would find that question as rude yet I'm glad she threw away a very good one. The question I often asked if someone would greet me the same way, the question I rarely hear from another people and I was delighted to hear that it's addressed to me and had answered it brightly right in front of her face and so excited to post this (though this whole thing is not interesting as it may seem but I'm happy I'm back into writing, I thought I lost it. And yow Miss, if ever you will get across this, no hard feelings okay? I really like this, thank you).

I really intended to wish her good morning because everybody deserves to have a good one, to have a good time any moment of the day. I have no idea what she's going through before I greeted her but if it's already been ruined, so, what's good in the morning, anyway?


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