Tuesday, November 9, 2010

i was caught...

it was an unplanned night in one of the nights of 2010, i can't remember if the moon was there neither the stars. my friend bugged me to go with her. i declined. but her power to convince me has reached the level of my resistance. fine.

i was kind of bored at first but i met a guy. sarcastic yet i was having fun. we became friends, we enjoyed each other's company, we shared the same thoughts. sometimes, there were disagreements but we're cool. we often talked until dawn, i don't get bored. different from the other guys, very gentle, i thought. he's probably off the market.

there's this one thing that i was afraid of. i might like him and then one day, i'll wake up realizing that i'm falling in love with him. that's what i've been dreaded to happen and here i am in misery. i should've not let myself devoured every moment we spent but i liked it somehow.

we didn't see each other these past few days, i've waited, always waiting but he never showed up. so here i am alone trying to figure what went wrong. i'm almost fed up, i hate him for doing this to me but i still want to see him though. yes, i'm crazy. at least i admit it.

i thought i was invincible, such stuffs won't penetrate but it did. foolish. i could've shield hard but i was so weak to resist, hahahahaha. my stupidity counts again and again. this leads to nowhere, i knew it. i reminded myself in the first place but i chose to savour it. there were no promises or commitments but i like him, i really do. it's a very nice feeling i rarely felt.

now i knew that i'm just being swayed with the current situation. yes, i fell in love with you but you're a jerk, did you know that? you left no messages in my inbox even offline messages, is it so hard to drop by and say hi?, you could tell me what's happening, i wonder what are you trying to do. duh... nah, thanks for sharing your time with me, i appreciated it but now i detest it bastard. you left me injured, you see? naive.

i thought everything we had was real but it's just the same as the other lame situations i had with other guys. i'll stop this insanity, cut it off, cut it off.

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